Road rage

So my mom has major road rage... I mean extreme road rage... she acts like she's not afraid of anything or anyone but I am... I mean what if she yells @ the wrong person and they try to hurt us... not to mention the fact that most of the words she says when yelling @ someone aren't that Godly... I mean plus like what if someone like tries to follow us home or something... There are much crazier people out there and I know we have God's protection and everything but not if you're acting outside of God's will... I mean really... It kinda makes me sick and worried and upset with her... but I can't tell her because she doesn't want to hear anything from me... its not fair I mean she is putting all of our lives in danger... not just her own...

MVA

Just one question... why the heck is the MVA so freakin crowded all the time?

Time-out... Friend or Foe?

These darn kids...
Man sometime those kids drive me crazy!!!!
I finally got the lil girl who cries everyday to go play but she would not listen @ all... even when I threatened to put her in timeout... she talks to me all the time but she always wants to sit on my lap and then try to hurt me... but she's so cute... they're all cute and sometimes I can't help but laugh @ them when they're doing wrong and acting silly... but then they won't listen to me and do what I say... its so annoying... and if you put them in timeout they hate you forever... or at least until the end of the day LOL... but does it help or does it make the child resent you???

It helps this one boy... but that's only cuz he gets it @ home too after his timeout... I've only put 4 children in timeout in 2 weeks... and believe me they've all but maybe 2 deserved it @ one time or another... I just hate repeating myself 4 and 5 times... but what do you expect from 3-5 year olds?

So you know you've reached a new level when...

LOL... I have issues and I know it... but you know you've reached a new level in your friendship when you both tell each other harsh truths that could end a friendship in the middle of an intense conversation and 5 seconds later you're back to the casual nonchalant joking like nothing happened...

I found this article and its definitely on point

What is a true friend?
Published in: Connected

Most of us can name several people we call friends, and some would name quite a few. Others might count their friends on just a few fingers. We have a lot of acquaintances, but friends are fewer. A friend is someone we can hang out with, have fun with and depend on. The Bible has a lot to say about friendship, but it’s different from what we might expect. Joe O’Day, author of The Art of Friendship, writes, “Our preoccupation is usually with having friends. The Bible’s focus is on being a friend.” David and Jonathan O’Day goes on to tell about King David’s friendship with Jonathan. He concludes, “Another person who went the distance for his friend was Jonathan. His friendship with David is one of the most outstanding and moving stories in all of Scripture, perhaps in all of literature. . . . Few are the people blessed enough to know a committed friendship such as Jonathan’s. David calls Jonathan his brother, reminiscent of the verses from Proverbs. Jonathan was closer to David than a brother. He was closer than a wife. Such analogies speak deeply of commitment, for the fundamental bond between brother and brother, or husband and wife, is commitment. Commitment is the word that unlocks the real meaning of friendship.” You can read about David and Jonathan starting in 1 Samuel 19 and on into chapter 20. Reading this will introduce you to the potential of deep, caring friendship.

Friends, acquaintances and MySpace Paul Grant, editor and writer for Urbana.org, grew up in Switzerland, where the term “friend” is held in such high regard that most people only call a couple of people their friends. He points out that while Urbana 06 on MySpace has well over 300 friends, the idea of “friend” in Switzerland and “friend” on MySpace are miles apart.
“On MySpace,” says Paul, “the term ‘friend’ is a technical term, really a ‘contact.’ You have the right to send your friends a message, but the use is hardly relational. Of course a friend is more suggestive and appealing than a contact. If you’re in middle school you can boast of the number of ‘friends’ you have and also rank them. Kids slam each other all the time by how they rank their friends’ pictures. I know of some who will not even be friends with someone who has under 200 friends.” In the U.S., says Paul, we tend to confuse friends and acquaintances. “We find it cold to say acquaintance or colleague or even comrade, which we associate with communism. People in other parts of the world don’t hesitate to differentiate those they merely know and those they’d count as friends.” “By the way,” says Paul, “if anyone wants to be my friend on MySpace, feel free to add me.” (You can find Paul here. Hey, we’re happy to be part of Web culture!)

A true friend is . . . “What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies.” — Aristotle
You can have a lot of acquaintances, but only a few people will become your best friends. These are kindred spirits, much like David and Jonathan mentioned in the main article, whose souls were “knit together.” Friendships like this will endure, even though the intensity of the friendship will ebb and flow over time. One of the dangers in this kind of friendship is co-dependency. The sheer delight of having such a friend can also create weighty expectations in the relationship. A good question for friends to ask regularly is, “Are we truly seeking the other person’s highest good?” “A true friend stabs you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde
Leave it to Oscar Wilde to lay out an important truth with such wry humor. A true friend is one who helps you see the truth, even if it hurts. This doesn’t mean we can go around stabbing our friends with hurtful words. Rather, it means being up front with friends about important issues, raising gentle questions with tact and love, never gossiping or putting them down to others behind their backs. “I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson Real friendships don’t just happen, and they aren’t maintenance free. Ask yourself and your friend questions like these: “How would you describe our friendship?” “What is God doing in each of us, separately and together?” “How can we help each other become all God wants us to be?” Seeking another person’s highest good: that’s being a true friend.

I love my job :)

Sometimes they make you wanna...

I love children... they're so cute and funny... lovable and sweet... they're so silly and innocent... free and nonchalant...

Sometimes children annoy me... they're so demanding and whiny... hard headed and naive... they're so cunning and devious... selfish and needy...

That's how I feel with my kids... I love them so much but I know for sure I couldn't work with preschoolers all the time... They cry over EVERYTHING and have never ending energy... yet they are so cute and funny and amusing... it's funny to try to see how their little minds think... and interesting when you can't figure out where in the world they came up with something LOL...

I have this one little girl in my class who, I don't know what's up with her... but everyday no matter how much time I spend in the classroom before all the other teachers leave... as soon as its just me and the kids she starts to cry and wants me to hold her... she doesn't go play (though she wants to so bad...) and she just sits there quietly... well today I think she started to warm up to me because she sat on my lap and was actually talking to me... and playing with me and yelling @ me LOL... trying to hurt me... but she still wouldn't let me put her down... everytime she remembered she was supposed to be sad LOL she sat back up on my lap and watched the kids with me... LOL... she even helped me read a story to the children... she's so sweet but then she'll turn on me in a minute... Then theres another lil boy... he is so bad... he does loves to untie his shoes so I can tie them for him... and laughs when he does it... when I tell him its not funny he just laughs more... when I tell him I'm going to put him in timeout he laughs more... until he gets in timeout... then he cries and cries and throws a tantrum until he gets out... and of course he's still your friend... but he's back to his same stunts... but he should learn his lesson cuz he gets it when he gets home...

All in all I love kids and my job... but boy am I glad for the weekend!!!!!

Obedience

So one of my lil brothers is 11... the one who tries to do everything like me... dance... draw (he got better than me @ that)... play drums, and other instruments... the only thing he doesn't follow me in is being a good student in school because he hates school... and being obedient... my brother does what he wants all the time, no matter if it'll get him in trouble later... on Sunday my mother gave him a five dollar bill and told him only to spend $2 and no more and she was going to ask for the change... she said this to him more than once and other people even asked him now how much money are you allowed to spend and he said $2... He spent $2.50... yes it was only $.50 but it was the fact that he was told not to spend the money... afterwards he tried to act like he dropped the other $.50 in between the seats of our truck but no one was fooled... and then today his camp went swimming... my brother is growing dreads and his hair gets out of wack when its not wet... my mother told him like 5x not to get his hair wet... she had me remind him before they left not to get his hair wet... needless to say he came back with not only his hair wet but he was under water and all... and he asks me to do his hair... LOL I told him he deserves to have his hair look a mess for a day... and of course he's grounded with no TV for the rest of the week... because of it... guess who was sneaking and watching TV and got caught...

Why am I telling y'all all this??? No, not to tell you how bad my brother is... How often are we like children to God and blatantly disobedient just like my brother? How many times does God tell us to do something but we don't want to so we don't? How many times does God tell us not to do something and we know we shouldn't but we do anyway because it's only one little thing? How many times do we try to cover up our disobedience or give rationale to it??? This is so dangerous because not only are we hurting ourselves in the moment, but we are preventing God from blessing us and from our continual growth in the purpose for which we were called... as the saying goes Obedience is better than Sacrifice... what will you be sacrificing? Only God knows... so I suggest you obey...

Friend Part 3

LOL... this is my second post in like 4 hours... I think too much LOL but I was looking @ my cousin's facebook page and came across this silly horoscope thingy... I usually don't pay attention to them because it's not telling you your future or anything... but this one caught my attention because it was about friends... and my cousin and I are only 20 days apart so we have the same lil zodiac thingy...

anyway the thing said "A friend's words may come off harsh, but they truly mean well. Think about what your friend's trying to say to you and try not to be too sensitive." This was very interesting to me... of course because all I'm thinking about it friends... How many times do we misinterpret what people say and become offended because of it and then stop talking to the person when they meant well??? Isn't the point of a friendship to be able to help one another by telling each other the truth??? I mean if you can't take the truth, what you want lies??? LOL Honestly, a friend who lies to you to save you from pain is no friend... But that just goes back to are they a true friend anyway? Or just someone you call your friend but in actuality they're just someone you know...

The bible says Jesus was a friend who stuck closer than a brother... and Jesus never lied to his friends... in fact he chewed them out when they left him hanging in the garden of Gethsemane... But it was all out of love... How do you take your friend's words? How do you tell your friends tough truths? I understand that you have to tell the truth too (and fully support it) but what happens if you have a feeling you friend will not understand or you tell them the truth and you know you hurt them??? I think you should try to explain better and make amends... I think if you're thinking about it before you should approach the situation with caution and prayer and yeah... I don't know why I'm always going on tangents on friends cept for the fact that I've had alot of one sided friendships and have made these mistakes before... there's nothing worse than thinking someone is your friend and later you come to find that they were far from it... ok... enough...

Never Alone

First I'll start with a few jokes... How do you know your nail polish is cheap and you've been wearing it for too long?... When it start changing colors LOL... I've been wearing this nail polish since June 2 for NaKhia's wedding... and it was pink... this morning when I woke up it was purple and I just couldn't stop looking @ my hands because I was so amazed... I've never seen nail polish change colors... I mean and its a pretty purple too LOL...

So I spent most of Saturday with my father because you know father's day was yesterday but Sunday's are really busy for me... my dad rented a car in the morning... I don't know why... but it has this thing called data link connector... its very special LOL... so when you hit the breaks hard like to stop... the volume on the radio goes down... and when you accelerate 15 mph or more the volume goes up... my dad and I were laughing so hard we were crying... and my lil sister in the back was like, what's so funny??? LOL... but it was pretty hilarious....
___________________________________________

So this weekend my brother had his dance concert... they have been hardcore practicing for 3 weeks and it has been torturous... Well the final product was amazing and God showed up and ministered which was awesome because the director has been having some issues so the fact that the show even happened was a testimony... So in the production there was this one dance that really talked to me... it was with a woman and "God" to Barlow Girl's Never Alone and both times I watched it I nearly cried... Here are the lyrics:

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

This song... that dance... really spoke to my heart... because I've been feeling distant from God lately... not wanting to pray... not wanting to take anything to Him... not believing... but seeing that dance on Saturday night opened the door for my heart to be open to trying to talk to God... and then Sunday @ church I was able to and it was like "I missed you so much!" and then I got to see the dance again on Sunday night and it was like confirmation... like the first time was to open me up and the second was like end conversation.. but don't forget... I'm still here... It's awesome how lyrics to songs can often say exactly how you feel for you... and I know there needs to come time where the Word needs to be enough and not music... but for now... God has my back and knows just what I need...

Friend Part 2 Revised

So I posted this earlier today but the formatting kept getting messed up so I just redid it...

So I am apart of alot of groups on facebook... and alot of them love to send mass messages and what not... I usually ignore them because they're inviting me to somewhere where I can't get to... I mean ignore like delete before even opening... well I'm sure glad I didn't with this one... Here's the message...


"Somethings of many things that has been laying on my heart are that I would like to bring up since this group is about relationship is friends and what they really mean, and what they are really for? The term "Friends" to me has been casually been thrown around and taken out of context. The Definition of a Friend Person who Knows, Likes, Trust, Allied in a struggle with, one who supports, sympathizes with. A friend is a lover literally "No Homo" If you look up the history Friend what I am writing can be confirmed My thing with the word friend , and why I think it is casually thrown around is you cannot find to many people that you can trust, people will not open up to you all the way because they have a trust issue. And How in the world can you support a person when you don't call them on a regular basis or the only time you here from the person is on the World Wide Web. As well you can not support a person if you disagree with everything they do, or have low expectations for them. How can you call somebody a friend when, they are going through a struggle, you are nowhere to be found, or your to selfish so you always say you don't have it, and watch the person struggle knowing that in some possible way you could of helped. These are some of the reasons why I think the term friend is totally taken out of context. Reasons listed above, negates the definition of the word friend, and there are great amount of people who call each other friends and they have in there "friendships" the above problems. I am not saying stop being friends with people, take longer then you usually do to call someone a friend, or holler at me for giving my opinion and telling the God honest truth.What am saying is to evaluate what and who you call friends. If you find yourself doing for people all the time, but when you are need its like a desert and God has to bring strangers in your life to bless you, you may want to take a look at that situation. If you find yourself always calling, and visiting a person but they never come to see how you are doing and they have means of doing so , you may want to evaluate that situation as well. If you find yourself confiding in people, and your business ends up on Facebook/Myspace National you may want to evaluate that. I can go on and on but I am not I will leave it to the other 600 members to comment on what a friend really is, and really is not.!!!"


This was like oh my goodness this is so true!!! I mean I feel the same way... this semester I've been struggling to be a true friend and trying to figure out what that meant... and I know I have my downfall but I mean dag... LOL... I've had so many "friends" I really don't know who to trust... and I now can see I definitely need to stop throwing that word around as lightly and freely as I do... I mean Jesus called us friend but it was only His close disciples... it wasn't the multitudes that followed him... and then he had 3 close friends... Peter, James and John... I guess I just expect everyone to be a close friend and I want that out of people because I want that to be for them... but I don't really need anyone... cuz in the words of the wonderful Vicki Winans... Long as I got King Jesus I don't need no one else... Ya heard?

Top 5

So as a mandatory assignment from Angela Leigh Kase I have to write about the top 5 good things that has happened to me in the past month...

And I quote " This is not an optional assignment. It must be completed in full."

From the bottom up...

#5- Getting into my dance classes for the summer... I'm so excited I'm taking 5 dance classes all summer and I'm excited to learn new things and be dancing to someone elses choreography... I mean I love choreographing dances but I don't have good technique and I never can do what I envision...

#4- Getting a job a week after being home... So this was such a blessing because I didn't plan to be here this summer so it was going to be difficult looking for a job... and not only did I get hired, I started the very next day! AND the pay is good and so are my hours... who would've thought

#3- Getting my new room... my house flooded July last year and everything got ruined... Our basement never really got fixed back up and since I've been sleeping in our living room on our floor or in my sleeping bag... but now I have a room with a bed... YAY!

#2- Being apart of Khia's wedding... it was so wonderful just to see my sister get married and be able to bless her in dance.. it was wonderful and there was no other place I would have rather been!

#1- Building on the friendship that I have with Angela... it was been the best thing ever to happen to me and what I needed in this time in my life... I couldn't have asked for anything more! :)

Friend???

I just got off work and I have a major headache...

You ever see something as one thing but someone else sees it completely different? You ever want something so bad and work really hard to earn it only to find your work was in vain? Ever been hurt? I know I'm being really vague... I've been thinking alot about my relationships with people... and I just don't know... I mean you never know right, unless they tell you how they view you... I mean you could view someone as your associate and they see you as their best friend in the whole wide world... what would that do to them if you told them you didn't think they were your friend, if you had the guts to tell them?

What is a friend? What is the meaning of the word? What is the purpose of friendships? How do you know when someone has become a friend? How does it sound to say (ok, you've passed the test, you can be my friend now...)? Doesn't it just happen? Then why do we have to define relationships? Why does this sound so complicated?

Disclaimer: I've been thinking about these things for a while and this blog is not the result of one particular situation or events but of what my life has been like...

Dating

I've been thinking about dating alot lately because I'm surrounded by married, engaged or people who are dating, or even people thinking about dating... it's like everytime I close my eyes, someone is engaged or dating or something... Which is cool... for them... LOL... for me it just continually shows me how far I am from being ready to date... I say this because of my trusty handy guide to christian dating that I have by Myles Monroe called Waiting and Dating... It's an awesome book about preparing yourself for dating and marriage relationships that I try to live by (after the bible of course LOL)...

He begins talking about how "dating is an important vehicle (in our culture) for us to get an opportunity to know the opposite sex in a socially acceptable manner" and good because "the way people behave while dating usually reveals how they will behave when married." He also gives 4 principles for being ready to date... 1) knowing the benefits and dangers of dating (check) 2) understanding of God's standard's for relationships... including a clear set of guidelines for behavior based on God's Word (half a check) 3) resolve in your spirit that you will not lower or compromise those standards for any reason, even if it means losing dates (minus; I've said that numerous times, but have yet to actually do it...) 4) you don't need to date... you're in an independent state (minus minus minus... :() This is my biggest struggle area and I think it is very difficult to deal with... in the book Myles Monroe says "As long as you perceive lack or incompleteness within yourself, every relationship you enter will be, to one degree or another, an effort to supply that lack or bring a sense of completeness. If you feel deficient, you will build your entire relationship on that deficiency, because you will be looking to the other person to supply what you do not have."

I used to not even think about this because it was like I know I shouldn't even go there... but now it's all I think about... My problem in the past has been not knowing what I want and then settling for less than I know I should have... now it's not knowing what I want, and not having and prospects, and not being ready to date anyway so there's no point...

This needs to stop though... it might be becoming an unhealthy idol...

Season of learning

So I'm trying this blogging thing out again... hoping I can get people interested in my life... LOL

So we say in life you never stop learning and that you should learn something new every day... As a college student I would hope to say that this is true, that I learn something new everyday at least in my classes... well I definitely can say this is not true because I remember plenty of days of classes where I felt I didn't learn a thing... anywho... I feel like I'm in a season of learning about myself and God though it is a good place to be but it is also hard...

Things I've learned about myself include how I am SO dependent on people and how I don't depend on God enough... this came into a harsh reality when the people I depend on weren't avaliable and couldn't help me and I pretty much fell apart... and my not even really being able to know how to even ask for help from anyone and not feeling like I could even explain it to God (who knows all DUH)... I learned how selfish I am when it comes to the relationships I'm in with anyone... I want what I want when I want and I can't give you what you want until I'm ready... that sucks... I also learned that I have a really hard time in thinking or seeing God as a father...

Things I've learned about God include how merciful and gracious He is... (though I mean you know these things because you're told but experience changes alot) I mean seriously, I must serve a gracious God to be forgiven and accepted time and time again after looking for people to replace Him and being rejected or let down... and being so loving and caring and comforting every single time... giving me everything I need...

I'm still learning and I hope to continue because wisdom is priceless